Welp...herpes.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
