Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
