I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
