Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
