i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
