how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you had me at cake vodka
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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