just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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