the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
