I have demons in me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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