Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
