What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
