let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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