it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
