he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
