Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
