Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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