she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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