with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
