I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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