How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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