just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
