all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
