I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
