hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize