sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
where does the pee come out of this thing
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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