smell my finger.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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