Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize