In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
