I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
