I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
