Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
