you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
