I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
