Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
