He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
