i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
