Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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