As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
