what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
