the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize