I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He passed out mid-signature
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
