Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
