How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
