We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
