Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
