do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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