I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
