shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
