Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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