I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Couch. On fire.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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