Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
