Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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