thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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