I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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