This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
