She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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