I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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