He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I pour the whiskey from now on
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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