last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He felt like a one man threesome
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
