I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
