New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
