Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
