these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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