i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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