Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
