i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
