I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize