He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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