The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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